Positive Thinking

13
Oct
2023
The Benefits of Solitude

The Benefits of Solitude

“Remembering Allah verbally is good, but contemplating about the blessings of Allah is the best act of worship.”

Umar Ibn Abdul Aziz

In an always connected world, we are never truly alone. Through our phones and social media, we never give ourselves enough time to think, reflect, or even engage in quality worship. Making time to be alone and spending that time in a way that is pleasing to Allah is an integral part of purifying the soul. It is in solitude that we develop our best ideas, find solutions to our problems, unlock deeper understandings of our scriptures, and benefit from quality alone time with Allah. Solitude is therefore crucial for success in every aspect of our life.

The Prophet ﷺ received the first revelation in the cave of Hira. He had already been there for a few days, and it was his habit to isolate himself from society for a few days to contemplate and figure out solutions to the problems facing his community. Spending time alone to think deeply or to worship Allah is a cherish Sunnah that we need to revive in our times. It has a rich history and there are many great examples of this throughout Muslim history.

When Ibn Taymiyyah was thrown in prison, he cherished the idea that it would be a khalwa (solitude) with Allah. He used that time to worship Allah, reflect, and to write his books. When Ibn al-Haytham was placed under house arrest, he used that time to think and experiment and ended up figuring out the science of optics. When Imam al-Ghazali felt that he was getting too popular and was worried that it would affect his intentions, he disappeared from society to focus on purifying his soul. There are many other examples like this showing that many of the great all practised solitude in different ways at different points in their lives.

A Balanced Approach

Solitude is something built into our religion, but Islam also warns us against complete isolation. A believer must find balance between making time to sit alone and worship Allah, and time to serve the community and take care of the family. Complete isolation is unnatural and derives one of the benefits of being part of the ummah. Solitary confinement is a punishment for a reason, and one should not put oneself into voluntary confinement. The key is to make time for oneself, while still being part of society.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “The believer who mixes with people and is patient with their harm has a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people, nor is patient with their harm.”

Ibn Majah 4032

We must keep this hadith in mind when seeking solitude. Solitude should not interfere with our family and communal duties; it should supplement and enhance it. The purpose of making time for oneself in Islam is primarily to worship Allah. Every Muslim should make time to worship Allah in private, the ideal time is during the Last Third of the night but even at any other time it is beneficial and a great deed. There are other usages of solitude as well which includes deep thinking, contemplation, meditation, and problem solving. It is when we take time to sit alone and think deeply that we develop our best ideas and solutions to our problems.

The benefits of solitude are many, but for the sake of brevity I will just list the primary benefits here:

  1. Quality sincere worship of Allah
  2. Focused time to do deep work or think deeply
  3. Potential of solving complex problems
  4. Potential to overcome dark thoughts and work through them
  5. An opportunity to unlock deeper understandings of Islamic scripture
  6. A chance to reset the mind and take a break from pressures of society

These benefits alone should make solitude something we all should carve time out for regularly.

How to maximize your alone time

Alone time works best when it is structured, and you have a process. If you block out time to be alone but do not plan how you will use that time, then you may end up wasting it with entertainment, dark thoughts, or even sinful deeds. To avoid this, alone time must be planned and structured. Here are some ways to use this time productively.

Engage in extra acts of worship – Utilize a portion of your alone time to worship Allah. This gives you some quality worship that is free from any wrong intentions. Every Muslim should have secret good deeds that only Allah knows about. Use this time to recite Quran, pray Salah, make dua, and engage in zikr and istighfār. Maming time daily for private worship is a must for every believer.

Have a clear agenda of topics to focus on – When sitting down to think, have a clear agenda. Do not allow your mind to wonder freely from topic to topic. Go in with specific topics to reflect on or problems to solve. Focus on those topics and avoid any topics that distract you from your goals.

Create a beautiful environment for solitude – Build for yourself an ideal environment for deep thinking. How this environment looks will differ from person to person. The goal is to have a place you can go to that is free from distraction, and that inspires you to think deeply and positively. Many people benefit from being out in nature for their alone time. Others prefer a small room with some comfy features. Find what works for you and set up your thinking space.

Give yourself a time limit – Alone time should not override your duties. You still need to work, care for your family, and serve your community. To ensure that your thinking time does not violate the rights of others, give yourself a strict time limit. As soon as the time is over, move on to the next priority on your to-do list.

Obstacles to solitude

There are many reasons why people are unable to find time for themselves today. For some, life is too busy, and they do not view it as a priority. For others, they have surrounded themselves with so many distractions (media, social media, technology) that they are never truly alone with their thoughts. A big one today though is that many people are afraid of their own thoughts.

Everybody has dark thoughts lurking deep in their minds. For many people, they avoid these thoughts by distracting themselves constantly from thinking and being alone. Because of this, they never confront these thoughts or work through them. To unlock deeper parts of our brain, we need to work through whatever is clouding our minds. This means making time to face our dark thoughts, work through them, resolve them, and discover deeper parts of ourselves. Do not be afraid to face the darkness within. It is better to recognize it, face it, and overcome it internally, than to ignore it as it festers and grows uncontrollably.

Another common obstacle to solitude are our gadgets. We are constantly connected with the rest of the world through the internet. Because of this, we are never truly alone. To overcome this, when blocking out time to be alone, switch off your devices and detox from the online world. Let your family or co-workers know that you cannot be disturbed for the assigned time unless it is an emergency and close all unnecessary channels of communication. This will give you the focused alone time you need to get things done.

Getting Started

For some people, making time to be alone may be very new. It is, however, one of the best habits you can learn at any point in life. Making time daily to worship Allah in private and to think deeply is a great way to enhance the quality of your life. Get started today by setting a time, choosing your environment, and deciding on a topic to reflect on. Start small and build a consistent habit of deep reflection in solitude. Remember that small consistent good deeds are most valuable in the long run.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Take up good deeds only as much as you are able, for the best deeds are those done regularly even if they are few.”

Ibn Majah 4240

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Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Inner Peace, Life Hacks, Positive Thinking
03
May
2023
Reframing the Obstacles in our lives

Reframing the Obstacles in our lives

Anyone who has ever attempted to accomplish an important goal has faced obstacles. It is the way of the world that when you set out to accomplish something big, everything will go wrong, and various speedbumps arise between you and your goal. It may feel like the world is conspiring against you and forcing you to make a choice. At this point, you have two choices: give up or power through. Too many of us choose to give up at the first obstacle, so we never live up to our full potential.

What causes us to give up so easily? It could be a lack of belief in the importance of our goal, or a lack of self-discipline. Maybe it is a desire for instant gratification or being sold a false dream of quick riches. It really could be that we are just lazy and do not want to put in the work needed to accomplish important goals, or that we are weak and unable to manage the trials of life. Whatever the reason, I believe that reframing the problem can help us overcome these obstacles and work our way towards our eventual goals.

Obstacles are really opportunities for growth

Think of your obstacles as opportunities. You wanted to build a successful business overnight, but multiple obstacles are in your way. These are not your enemies. These are simply opportunities to learn how business works, how to excel in your field, and how to solve major problems. The best life lessons are learned on the field when facing challenges and overcoming them.

An important life skill for anyone to develop is problem solving. The obstacles we face in life give us a chance to learn, demonstrate and refine our critical thinking skills. It is through these trials that we grow and evolve into better versions of ourselves. Simply put, without obstacles we will stagnate and never truly upgrade our skillsets.

Obstacles are actually just tests of will power

How willing are you to accomplish your goal? Do you really know yourself and the limits of your will power? Well good news for you, an obstacle is here to assess your will power for you. All you have to do is power through it and you will know that you have more will power than you ever realized before.

Be excited to face the next obstacle. It is a chance to prove to yourself that you have the willpower to beat the odds, overcome any setbacks, and work through every obstacle. Face it head on and take it as a challenge to prove that you are a model of true will power.

Obstacles are, in fact, necessary to accomplish our goals

An obstacle may have popped up because you lack something key to accomplishing your goal. And that key lies in learning from this obstacle and overcoming it. It may be that you need certain knowledge to succeed in life, but you can only gain that knowledge or experience from working through this obstacle. So, the obstacle has popped up at the right time to give you what you need to grow.

Sometimes what seems like an obstacle is, in fact, the way forward. The path you had chosen for yourself was going to lead to ruin or failure, but this obstacle may redirect you to a better path, one that is more likely to succeed. Stop looking at obstacles as signs to give up, start looking at them as part of the process of success.

Obstacles are what make success so much sweeter

When you narrate your success story to your descendants and students many decades from now, which part of the story do you think they will find most interesting? It will not be all those happy smooth days when everything was going your way. No, what they will really be interested in is what obstacles you faced and how you overcame those obstacles. It is that part of the story that makes it gripping and makes the happy ending so much sweeter.

You are living that part of the story right now. The pain, stress, anxiety, and fear you feel as you chase your goals are all part of the process. You too will find the taste of success so much sweeter if you must struggle to get it. Anything that we gain too easily we fail to appreciate. It is the goals we struggled for, and the obstacles that we overcame in the process, which make success so satisfying. Your story is not over yet, you are just in the most exciting chapter. Keep moving forward and finish your story.

Think Positive and reframe your obstacles accordingly.

Life is not meant to be easy. This is especially true if you want to accomplish remarkable things in your life. Let go of the defeatist attitude. Stop with the negative thinking. Prepare yourself to face a variety of challenges on the path to achieving your goals. Success does not come easily, but when it comes, it is so sweet. It was worth all the pain and all the hard work.

Everybody faces obstacles in their lives. But with a positive attitude, strong work ethic, firm trust in Allah, and a never-give-up attitude, you should be able to work through most obstacles and achieve amazing things with your life. If you want to accomplish something big, be ready to work for it, and to face various challenges on the way to accomplishing it. Success never comes easily, and it should not come easily.

Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. Recognize and acknowledge Allah in times of ease and prosperity, and He will remember you in times of adversity. And know that what has passed you by [and you have failed to attain] was not going to befall you, and what has befallen you was not going to pass you by. And know that victory comes with patience, relief with affliction, and hardship with ease.

Nawawi’s 40 Hadith, no: 19
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Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Goal Setting, Positive Thinking
07
Feb
2023
When Problems have no solutions

When Problems have no solutions

Life is hard. It is a testing ground in which we all face multiple trials. Some trials are easier to manage than others. Knowing that a trial has an end, that there is hope for solution, and that it will all be over soon, makes it easier to get through the difficult times. We remind ourselves that with hardship comes ease, and that victory comes with patience. When an end is in sight, we have more courage and hope which fuels our patience, and gets us through the trial.

But what about those trials that seem to have no end? How do we deal with a test that might last a lifetime? How do we make peace with the fact that sometimes there is no ease coming, there is no victory coming, and the test will not end until we leave this world? Whether it is a chronic illness, a tragic loss of a loved one, or an unjust lifetime imprisonment, many people are tested with trials that seem to have no end in sight. How do we deal with these trials?

Accepting One’s Qadar

And know that what has missed you was not meant for you, and what has befallen you was not going to miss you.

Hadith 19, 40 Hadith an-Nawawi

Destiny is a mystery that most human minds will fail to comprehend. We have limited free will and are responsible for our choices, but at the end of the day, nothing occurs unless Allah’s wills it. Allah already knows everything and has written all of our destinies for us. When we are faced with a trial that does not end and which we cannot comprehend, the best thing we can do at that point is to accept our destiny. This is what Allah has willed for us.

Nobody gets through life without facing some kind of trial. We all have to deal with tragedies and trauma that is beyond our control. Yet we find solace in the concept of destiny. Accepting that it was already written for us and that what has hit us was never meant to miss us brings some peace to the mind. It prevents from wishing if only I did something different, I could have changed my fate. What is done is done, we must accept that our current circumstance is our destiny and find a way to continue moving forward with our trials and pain.

Focusing on the Afterlife

One of the blessings of hardship is that they remind us to return to Allah and to focus on what truly matters. Our life in this world is short and soon we will all leave. When that happens, only our deeds and sincere intentions will go with us and benefit us in the Afterlife. A tragedy is a chance to realign our thinking. It is an opportunity to turn back to Allah and make preparation for the Afterlife our number one priority.

It is too easy to get distracted by our worldly goals, forgetting that the real victory is success on the Last Day. Our tragedies bring everything into perspective. They humble us, allowing us to see what really matters. No matter how difficult life gets in this world, if we continue to live in a way that is pleasing to Allah, the end result is Paradise and that is worth all the pain. So channel your energy into working for Paradise, and your trials will become blessings in the process.

Trusting Allah’s Plan

Allah is Most Wise, and whatever He wills is best for us. We must trust the plan of Allah. Like Yusuf in the prison, Ayub during his illness, and Yunus in the belly of the whale, our trust in Allah and connection with Allah should remain strong. “Allah knows best” should be our guiding thought. Sometimes a trial seems unsurmountable, but overcoming it is exactly what you need to level up and become a better version of yourself. Or maybe it is unsolvable, but your patience with it is your ticket to Paradise. Either way, we do not know but we do know that if we trust Allah’s plan, the end will always be in our favor.

Reflect on the story of Musa and Khidr. The owners of the ship that was damaged, the parents who lost their child, and the orphans who could not yet find their inheritance. None of them knew that these tragedies were in their favor and for their own long-term benefit. Allah’s Plans works in ways we cannot imagine. When life is tough, trust that Allah knows best and find peace through tawakul.

Buckets of Sabr

We will certainly test you with fear and hunger, and loss of wealth, lives and crops. So give good news to the resilient.

Quran 2:155

There is only one way forward through trials, and that is with Sabr. Sabr does not mean passively allowing people to oppress you. Sabr means being patient with what is beyond your control. Sabr means persistence in obeying Allah. Sabr means self-control when you desire to commit sins. Sabr means resiliency when life gets tough. Sabr is all of these things and more. Sabr should be the lifestyle of the believer, powering us through every test of life.

When life gets tough, we must be tougher than our trials. We must dig deep and find our inner strength to push through. No matter how difficult life gets, the pleasure of Allah must remain our goal. Patiently, we will accept our destiny, persevere in our good deeds, and face our trials with resiliency. Through sabr, lots and lots of sabr in all its forms, we will find peace, reward, and the pleasure of Allah.

Finding the Ease within the Hardship

When life gets hard, we have two choices: feel sorry for ourselves and give up or find a way to keep moving forward. There is no benefit in the first option. Defeat does not suit the believer. We will endure and keep moving forward. To do this, we will find the ease in our hardship. Life is tough but even in the toughest of times, there are many sources of comfort to power us through. During difficult times, seek out the good things in your life and cling to them as sources of comfort.

Find solace in your family and friends. If that is not possible, then find inner peace through worship and your relationship with Allah. Let your peace come internally, so that nobody can break it. Find the ease in your hardship, even if it is internal. Inner peace because of a strong relationship with Allah is all we need to get through our toughest trials.

Never Losing Hope

Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy. None despairs of Allah’s Mercy except the disbelieving people.

Quran 12:87

Never lose hope. Allah is there for you. He is with you in good times and bad times. Everything occurs as Allah has willed it, and sometimes we only see the fruit of our effort in the Afterlife. The believer does not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, knowing that miracles are possible, and even without a worldly victory, our patience will pay off in the next world. Paradise is worth the pain we endure in this life and that alone makes it worth every moment.

Be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, then ask Allah [alone]; and if you seek help, then seek help from Allah [alone]. And know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allah had already prescribed for you. And if they were to gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allah had already prescribed against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.”

Hadith 19, 40 Hadith an-Nawawi

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Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Islam, Positive Thinking
31
Oct
2022
Take Ownership of Your Choices

Take Ownership of Your Choices

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying, “A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer, and there is good in everyone, (but) cherish that which gives you benefit (in the Hereafter) and seek help from Allah and do not lose heart, and if anything (in the form of trouble) comes to you, don’t say: If I had not done that, it would not have happened so and so, but say: Allah did that what He had ordained to do and your” if” opens the (gate) for the Satan.”

Sahih Muslim 2664

Too many people live off excuses. They make excuses for why their business failed, their marriage failed, or their life sucks. This mindset does not help them in any way. An excuse is just a means of projected responsibility onto someone else. If your failure is the government’s fault, the media’s fault, or society’s fault, then you have an excuse to stay where you are and never advance in life. This mindset is itself a failure and will lead to nothing but more failure.

To succeed at anything, a man must take complete ownership of his choices and their consequences. He must own his decisions, own his mistakes, own his experiences, and own his consequences. It is only when we start taking ownership of these things, we do that we truly grow and mature. Maturity comes from understanding your mistakes and learning from them. Wisdom comes from making mistakes and never repeating the same mistakes. Growth comes from trying new things even if you fail at them. Success lies on the other side of ownership, to succeed you must take full responsibility.

Qadar is not an excuse

Umar ibn al-Khattab reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “If you were to rely upon Allah with reliance due to Him, He would provide for you just as He provides for the birds. They go out in the morning with empty stomachs and return full.”

Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2344

You cannot use Qadar as an excuse to sit around and do nothing. Nobody knows their Qadar, so we all need to go out there and do our absolute best. The result for that day is your Qadar for that day. But you do not know your Qadar for tomorrow, so try again tomorrow and give it your best again. Do this, every single day. Taking ownership for your choices means giving it your best, trying your hardest, being your best, and then accepting what God has written for you for that day.

Take ownership every single day for your choices and actions for that day. Analyse your actions, recognize your mistakes. Learn, improve, grow with each move.

Someone who sits around and just cries about his bad luck will never move forward. His own thoughts and self-defeating beliefs will keep him exactly where he is or pull him further down. To be your best, you must change your mindset. You must approach life with responsibility and optimism.

Optimism is part of faith

Abu Huraira reported that the  Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Allah Almighty says: I am as My servants expects of Me. If he thinks good of Me, he will have it. If he thinks evil of Me, he will have it.”

Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 639

A believer must be optimistic. He must think good thoughts about God and hope for the best. A negative attitude towards life is a negative attitude towards the Creator. The believer views everything in his life as part of God’s Plan. He sees the lesson in every mistake, the growth in every trial, and the blessing in every success. The believer takes full responsibility for his own actions but attributes all success to the Creator. This is part of gratitude and living a life of worship.

Anas ibn Malik reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “I am amazed by the believer. Verily, Allah does not decree anything for the believer except what is good for him.”

Musnad Ahmad 12495, Grade: Hasan

Slow and gradual is the surest path to success

Abu Huraira reported that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, “Take up good deeds only as much as you are able, for the best deeds are those done regularly even if they are few.”

Sunan Ibn Mājah 4240

There are no guarantees in life besides death. But in business and personal growth, slow and steady tends to win. Too many people look for get-rich-quick schemes and the fastest path to riches. They want shortcuts to good health, piety, and retirement. But life does not work like this. Everything worth having takes a long time and a lot of effort to get hold off.

To be successful at anything, you need to be patient. You need to work hard, piece by piece, every day. You need to be committed to the long run. Your business may not become truly profitable in its first year. Your marriage may not be a dream in the early years. Your children may be difficult to be deal with at certain points in their lives. In every aspect of life, you need to be committed to the long term.

It takes a lot of effort over a long period of time to produce anything great. A great marriage is a result of decades of love and sacrifice. Great children are the result of twenty years of invested parenting. An amazing business is the result of at least a decade of hard work. Even piety is not attained overnight. It takes a lifetime of spiritual growth to become a truly righteous person, and that struggle never ends until we leave this world.

Life is not easy. Embrace that fact. Take responsibility for your actions. Avoid excuses. Be optimistic. And be committed to the long-term in anything that is important to you.

Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Positive Thinking, Productivity
31
Aug
2022
Thirty-Six Lessons For Thirty Six Years

Thirty-Six Lessons For Thirty Six Years

I turn 36 years old tomorrow. I took some time today to reflect on my blessings, vision for the future, and lessons I have learned over the past three decades. Here are thirty-six life lessons, I learned by age thirty-six.

  1. Life is a test, but it is also a blessing. Be in a state of gratitude for every blessing in your life.
  2. Focusing too much on the future makes you forget to enjoy the present. Aim high but enjoy the journey too.
  3. Gratitude and contentment are two of the most beautiful internal gifts that make life worth living.
  4. A righteous traditional spouse is one of the greatest gifts that Allah can bless a person with. I am grateful for my wife and my children, and the role they play in my beautiful life.
  5. Success takes time and effort. Work every day towards long-term goals and avoid any temptation to take shady shortcuts in life.
  6. Every gift is a responsibility. Your knowledge, intellect, influence, and skills are all gifts that must be used to benefit the ummah.
  7. Most tests in life are temporary and will sort themselves out over time. Be patience and focus on changing what is within your control to change.
  8. Knowledge really is power. A knowledge of consistent knowledge seeking can help you grow in ways you never imagined.
  9. Nobody regrets the time they spent doing good deeds, serving the community, and bonding with family. Make time for all of these.
  10. Spiritual struggles are part of life. If we could attain spiritual perfection easily, then life would not be a test. It is crucial to be aware of one’s own faults and work towards rectifying these faults gradually.
  11. “Wealth and children are the beauty of this world.” – with each passing year, it becomes clearer and clearer how these two blessings make life beautiful, but good deeds of lasting benefit should be our priority.
  12. When you live each day like it is your last, then you will have no regrets when you are older. The best way to avoid a midlife crisis is to live a beneficial youth.
  13. No matter what trials you are going through, always find a reason to be grateful. Gratitude fuels positive thinking, optimism, and hope.
  14. Build good habits at a young age, and they will power you from strength to strength.
  15. Humans are capable of so much more than we can imagine. We hold ourselves back from accomplishing amazing goals through negative self-talk and bad company.
  16. Sectarianism is a young man’s distraction. As you age, you care more about the broader ummah, and less about a specific sect.
  17. Halal income is crucial for a blessed life. Never give in to the temptation to earn haram, even if it feels easier and quicker.
  18. Success at any task takes time and effort. Go slow, stay focused, and be committed to the long run.
  19. Build sources of continuous reward. This should be a primary goal of every believer.
  20. It does not matter if you live a long life or a short life. Living a life of worship and service is the only way for the believer.
  21. Speak the truth. Your enemies have less power than you think. If Allah protects you, then nobody can harm you.
  22. Never stop learning. Be a student for life, and you will seem like a master to everyone else.
  23. Family is a treasure from Allah. Love them, cherish them, and enjoy every moment with them.
  24. Purification of the soul is necessary and an ongoing task for life. Never become complacent about purifying your soul.
  25. When you have a vision and work towards it, life feels so much more fulfilling and exciting.
  26. Your friend circle is crucial. Surround yourself only with righteous people who give you the best advice for both worlds.
  27. Reading is one of the best habits you can build. Always have a reading list and make time daily to read.
  28. Your children learn more from your manners and character, then from your words. Be their role model.
  29. There will always be people out there who hate you and criticize you. Life is too short to hate people, focus on people that benefit you and help you grow into your best self.
  30. Not all criticism is bad. Even if worded poorly, analyse all criticism for kernels of truth so you can continue improving yourself.
  31. Life is always changing. If you are focused on higher goals, a lot of these changes will be positive and beneficial. Embrace change with each stage of life.
  32. Take care of your emotional and physical health when you are young. You will benefit from this for life.
  33. Make time daily for the Quran. Recite it, reflect on it, and live by it.
  34. Peace is internal. Remember Allah and you will find inner peace, even during times of turmoil.
  35. Every year on this earth is a blessing. Be grateful for every day that Allah has blessed you with. Every day is an opportunity to earn more good deeds.
  36. Death is inevitable. Make peace with that and live for the Hereafter.
Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Life Hacks, Positive Thinking