Time Management for Busy Moms Part 4 – Guest Post by Sr. Bela Khan
Lack of time is a disempowering belief
What’s one common thing between the most successful person on earth and the most unsuccessful one? 24 hours. Its not about having the time, its making the time.
I don’t have time has become a common statement these days. You will hear every Tom, Dick and Harry fretting over lack of time. If u keep on repeating this to yourself, it will become an integral part of the belief system and beliefs usually materialize. The inarguable truth is that 24 hours a day is just perfect as they are given to us by Allah, not too much not too little. If you focus too much on lack of time, you will experience lack of time because you tend to have more of what you focus on.
So, focus on the time that you “have” when your baby is sleeping and you have solid one hour to study or write an article or teach – rather than focusing on those 16 hours when your kids are awake and around. Intentionally focusing on the time you have at your disposal and showing gratitude to Allah for that is one of the best tips to get more barakah in time. Focus on lack and you will have more of it. Focus on abundance and you’ll have more of it.
It’s not important that how much time your children spare for you, what’s important is what you do with that time. ACTION is one thing that separates winners from losers. Each one of us knows time management tips, isn’t it? Each one of us can come up with an amazing write up on time management, isn’t it?
But remember, those who pick up one tip and apply in their lives, those who take one unusual action every day, will be far better than those who actually do nothing but read the articles. You can make changes. It’s not the lack of information keeping us away from making changes or achieving success, its lack of implementation. We know what we want, we know how get it, but we lack execution. Productivity blows down to taking action. You have to have the clarity to accomplish, u have to believe it that you have resource to be successful. Belief is a very powerful tool.
We can’t afford to procrastinate
Those who have nothing else to do might procrastinate but busy moms have no room for procrastination. Whatever little time they get for themselves is a blessing in disguise; therefore procrastination is not a choice.
If you do procrastinate, then following quick tips might help a great deal.
1 – Ask yourself, what’s holding me back? I want to write a book, start my business or anything else, but then I don’t. Why? Is it the fear of failure? In this case you need to address the fear, not procrastination.
2-Busy mom need immense amount of discipline. And it sounds hard and boring. But trust me, when you set your goals based on your passion and purpose it will not feel like a lot of work, it will feel great. Passion pulls you, you don’t have to push it. You wouldn’t want to procrastinate when you LOVE what you do.
- Live everyday with that awareness that life is short. You have to do it now or you might not do it ever.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said
Take advantage of five matters before five other matters: your youth, before you become old; and your health, before you fall sick; and your richness, before you become poor; and your free time before you become busy; and your life, before your death.”
Prophetic ways to bring barakah in time
Before I wind up, I would like you to have a quick look at some of the prophetic ways you can practice to bring barakah in life.
- Trying to start every official task by connecting yourself to Allah and making a small dua after making your to-do list every day.
- Saying bismillah
- Eat together (imagine how time consuming can serving everyone individually be)
- Recitation of Quran (read Quran everyday to find out what’s the message of Allah you can pick out for yourself everyday)
- Following sunnah to the best of your ability
A Quick evaluation at night time
For most of us, daily review is more of a guilt-trip. For me, it’s not. I am well aware of the fact that being a mother, a coach, a teacher and (cook, cleaner, laundry guy) etc. it is nearly impossible for me to accomplish everything perfectly every day. Night rituals are as important for me as the morning ones.
I try ending my day with making my duas, following as much Sunnah as I can, writing my gratitude journal and reading/listening to one motivational thing before I sleep. And trust me, the night time for me is not the ideal condition where I sit down and recite Surah Mulk with perfect concentration.
Sometimes, I am reciting the Surah while lulling my daughter to sleep other times I am making the duas while making the bed. As for the review, for me the daily review is showing gratitude to Allah for all that accomplished and strengthen my resolve to accomplish what I could not.
What last thing you put in your mind in the night, your subconscious will dwell on it throughout the night and that will determine your day tomorrow. Relax and feed positive stuff in your mind to make yourself more productive.
A practice when things go your way, gratitude.
When you are utilizing your time most effectively, you are soaring and overcoming all the fears, you will see results in your life. The more gratitude you show to Allah for those results, the better result you will get in future and He will immerse more barakah in your time.
A practice when things don’t go your way, self compassion.
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we fail. Be it a time management guru, a spiritual healer, a multi-millionaire CEO, no one is immune from failure. As busy mothers, we must learn to embrace the failure and have some compassion for ourselves.
Sometimes you have the best intention to implement whatever you know of, you wake up at 4 am, pray, do all adhkaar and are ready to start the day with some ME time and your child wakes up. What do you do then?
Sometimes you are considered to be an expert on time management. People look up to you with respect that you are perfectly managing all your responsibility but then you fall ill and fail to implement what you teach to others. What do you do then?
Sometimes you might have to give up on your passion to focus more on the tarbiyah of your children. You still have all those awesome ideas to change the lives of the people but you can’t put those ideas into action? What do you do then?
Most of the time management experts pretend as if life is perfect for them and they don’t waste a second of their lives. This makes us feel guiltier of what we are doing with our lives. Truth is, we all fail. Time management experts also fail. What do we do then? Relax. You are not expected to win all the time. You might have started the day with those three items on the paper and at the end of the day you just couldn’t do any of those tasks. What do you do then? Nothing. Crumple the paper and throw it away.
The next day is a new day, a new beginning, a new chance. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we fail. What do we do then? Relax. Embrace the failure and continue the struggle. As long as you are living, Allah is giving you another chance. Tomorrow is a new beginning, a new dawn. Don’t quit. Most of the people quit because quitting is easier. Remember, you plan and Allah plans, and Allah is the best planner.
Bela Khan is a certified life coach and speaker. She is also the author of her book “Know Thy Values, Know Thyself.” Her forthcoming books are “How riches come to you” and, “9-Success secrets that Non-Muslims know and you must know too”. You can find more of her work at belakhan.com