Hijrah Journal #3: 5 Fears To Let Go Of
I write this from the island of Lombok. A small simple island, far away from the built up cities I am used to. In the past, I would have been terrified to travel to a location so remote and distant, and different. I would have spent much of the trip in a state of culture shock and anxiety, but this time is different. This time, I am in a state of peace. I am excited, interested, and grateful for the experience of seeing a part of the world very few people see. It was not always like this though. Just a few year ago, I had a fear of travel.
In the previous entries in this series, I documented the reasons why I needed to leave South Africa, as well as whether Hijrah is a Fiqh matter or a personal matter. This entry will be a little different, and a bit more self-help. Let us focus on overcoming fears that get in the way of travel. There are many people I have met who are held back by fear and anxiety. There are five primary fears that hold a person back from travel; fear of the unknown, fear of taking risks, fear of things going wrong, fear of being outside one’s comfort zone, and fear of being away from one’s loved ones.
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My journey of overcoming my fears
A few years ago, I had a combination of many of these fears. It was in 2022, at the end of a three-year period that included a pandemic, a lockdown, riots, looting, and many personal trials, that I had become overwhelmed with life and afraid of the world. At that point, I had not traveled since 2016, and many fears held me back from traveling. I was afraid that if something happened to my family while I was away, I would not be able to be there for them. I was afraid of being in a new land by myself, and of things that could go wrong there. I was afraid of trying something new and being far away from my comfort zone.
Deep down inside, I hated being afraid and wanted to kill this fear. When I was younger, I was a lot more adventurous. I had traveled through Saudi Arabia, India, USA, Malaysia, and Kenya in my youth, but now six years had gone by without any travel. I knew that I needed to break this fear. So I booked a trip to Istanbul, alone, and set off on an adventure that would change my life. From that year onward, I tried my best to travel at least once a year, and by the third trip, something had changed: I was no longer afraid, I was now at peace. You can accomplish this too, here is how.
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The unknown can become known
Fear of the unknown holds many people back from chasing their goals. Whether it is marriage, travel, migration, a new job, a new home, or a new business, many people cling to what they know and are afraid of taking a leap into the unknown. The key to overcoming this fear is to realize that the unknown can become known, the unfamiliar can become familiar, and strangers can become loved ones. A new spouse eventually becomes the person you know best, a new business will eventually become the business you excel at, and a land can eventually become home.
When traveling, I have a personal method to overcome this fear. When I arrive in a new land, I take time during my first few days to familiarize myself with my surroundings. I go for a walk or a drive and note buildings and amenities that may be important or useful. After a day, I may become familiar with a few things, and after a week, the unknown is now the known and part of my new comfort zone. I try to expand the radius of the known in pieces every few days. Furthermore, I always try to meet new people, both locals and immigrants, so that I can learn from their lives and experiences, and they too can become known to me.
Everything worth accomplishing requires risk-taking
We live in an age of anxiety, in which many young people are afraid of the world. They hide behind their devices, cut off from reality, refusing to engage with the real world in any meaningful way. They do not want to experience any discomfort and becoming panicky easily. This lifestyle is extremely harmful. In the long run, you will cause more harm and regret to yourself than good by hiding away from the world. The world is meant to be explored, engaged with, interacted with. We are supposed to learn about life and ourselves by interacting with Allah’s Creation in meaningful ways. We cannot do this if we are afraid of the world.
This fear can be crippling and prevents people from taking risks in life. The reality of this world is that it is a world of “no risk, no reward”. If you refuse to engage, you will not accomplish anything. Anything worth accomplishing lies on the other side of taking a risk. Whether it is starting a business, moving to a new land, traveling to a radically different land, or even getting married, all of it requires risk-taking. The key to overcoming this fear is to realize the benefit of calculated strategic risks.
This does not mean we need to be foolhardy and take stupid risks. We must think, plan, strategize, weigh pros and cons, and then take risks that make sense, knowing full well that it might not work out in our favor. If you have a fear of risk-taking, I suggest to start by taking small risks. Try to make a new friend, become familiar with a new neighborhood near your home, or travel within your country. Maybe even start a small side business that is low-cost. In this way, you begin to build your risk tolerance. Think of risk tolerance like a muscle that you need to exercise. Over time, it will become stronger, and you will begin to take bigger risks. Once you reach a certain level, the risks will start to pay off in ways you never imagined.
Things will go wrong whether you are at home or away
Many people are afraid to travel because they are afraid that something may go wrong back home, and they would be too far away to do anything about it. The key to overcoming this fear is to accept Qadar (destiny) and accept that this is out of your control. If a loved one is meant to get sick or pass away, it will happen when Allah wills it, whether you are nearby or not. If you have responsibilities towards an elderly or sickly relative then you should put travel on hold for now, but if you are not needed, then do not let fear hold you back.
Sometimes we tell ourselves we can’t travel because what if something happens to a relative while we are away, then nothing happens for years, or even decades. Time goes, opportunities go, and we are left with regret for letting unfounded fears get in the way of travel. Accept that destiny is out of your control, and everything happens per the Perfect Wisdom of Allah. Do not let unfounded fears hold you back from doing what you need to do to accomplish your goals.
The same applies to things that could go wrong for you while you are traveling. You could get stranded in an airport, lost in a new land, sick, injured, scammed or even lose your important documents. These are all necessary risks when it comes to travel. You have to accept that nothing happens except what Allah wills. 90% of what we fear never ends up happening, and when something does happen, it is usually solvable and an important growth experience. Learning to go with the flow and embrace the uncertainty of travel is important and necessary. You cannot avoid your destiny, whether you are on the road or hiding in your castle.
Your comfort zone is holding you back
Comfort zones are nice and necessary. We need them as a place of refuge to relax after a hard day’s work or a week of intensive travel, but a comfort zone is only a good thing if it serves its purpose. Spend too much time in it, and it becomes a weakness, a distraction, and means of holding you back from becoming the best version of yourself. This is especially true for men. Men should never spend too much time in their comfort zones. We need discomfort to grow, evolve, and discover our true potential. Success lies in venturing outside your comfort zone.
Once you realize this, you will stop treating your comfort zone like a crutch. Instead, it becomes a rest stop on the journey of life. I do not say you should get rid of it altogether, but rather understand its purpose and place. Spend time regularly outside your comfort zone, interact with the world, explore new cultures, and learn from new experiences. Then retreat to your comfort zone to rest and recover and start again. Your comfort zone should never hold you back from travel. If should simply give you a place to rest between your adventures.
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Trust Allah to take care of you and your family
Many people are afraid of travel because they are afraid to be away from their families. Yet this is an important and necessary experience to grow and become the best version of yourself. I often think of Ibn Battuta and his famous journey. He left his parents and went for Hajj, and did not return home until decades later. These days we have things easier. We have instant connection with our families through the internet and our devices. We are never truly cut off from them, except by distance. You can still be there for a family member through a video call, even if they are far away.
Just as the people of the past trusted Allah with themselves and their families whenever they set off on a journey, we must do the same. Tawakul is key to travel, and especially for Hijrah. You must trust God’s Plan, and accept that nothing will happen except what Allah wills. Take strength from the stories of the Hijrahs of the first generation of Muslims, how Umm Salama set off with her son towards Madinah alone, trusting Allah to help them find their way, how Abu Bakr left his aging father in the care of his daughter, and trusted that Allah will take care of them and reunite them, and how the Prophet ﷺ was at peace in the cave knowing that Allah will take care of them during their journey.
If you do not help him, God has already helped him, when those who disbelieved expelled him, and he was the second of two in the cave. He said to his friend, “Do not worry, God is with us.” And God made His tranquility descend upon him, and supported him with forces you did not see, and made the word of those who disbelieved the lowest, while the Word of God is the Highest. God is Mighty and Wise. (Qur’an 9:40)
Do not worry, God is with us
Whenever you experience fear in chasing your life goals, remind yourself of the above verse and the reason for its revelation. Do not worry, do not fear, do not be sad, Allah is with us. If you are migrating for Allah’s sake, He will assist and He will provide. You must go with full conviction that the one who helped the first generation settle in Madinah will help you in your noble quest too. Let go of your fears, embrace the unknown, take calculated risks, and trust Allah’s plan. You will meet your destiny along the way, and your Lord will provide for you more than you ever imagined.
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