Self Confidence

Be Yourself as long as being yourself is Halal

Be Yourself as long as being yourself is Halal

Be Yourself!

This is my personal motto: Be Yourself as long as being yourself is halal! I spent my teenage years in a Darul Uloom whose culture was such that everybody was bullied into dressing alike, speaking alike and pretending that we are all the same, stripped of any individuality. This environment made me grow rebellious and I would upset the status quo with small attempts at being different.

As I studied Islam more deeply, I was amazed at how Islam has room for so many different personality types. The companions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) were diverse in their personalities. They included scholars, warriors, leaders, businessmen, farmers, strict people, funny people, thinkers and followers.

This led to me formulating my motto: Be yourself as long as being yourself is halal. Allah does not ask us to be robots: looking alike, dressing alike and behaving like we don’t have any unique attributes. At the same time, we all have evil within us that needs to be suppressed, and that part of us should be controlled.

Be yourself. Do not worry about what people say, just be yourself whether that means being strict or humorous. Don’t pretend to be strict because others are, and don’t pretend to be funny because other people want you to.

Let your natural personality flow and you will feel confident and happy. If you need to change anything, change it for the sake of Allah to grow closer to Him. Base your life changes on pleasing Allah, not on pleasing people.

Be your genuine and best self and not only will you grow in confidence but people will appreciate your honesty and courage and will eventually follow in your footsteps.

Best Of Creation: An Islamic Guide to Self-Confidence, pp. 166-167

Click on link for download and purchase details

Be yourself

Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Books, Self Confidence, 1 comment

Best Of Creation Launched!

Best Of Creation: An Islamic Guide To Self-Confidence

Alhamdulillah, I am happy to announce the official launch of my new book: Best of Creation: An Islamic Guide to Self Confidence.

This is my second Islamic Self-Help book and it focuses on a Tawheed-centered approach to confidence. It teaches that true confidence comes from confidence in the Creator and His promise to assist us when we strive to be the best of Creation.

The book focuses on overcoming fear, stepping out of your comfort zone and learning to deal with mistakes and setbacks in a positive way. The end-result is a believer who is confident, connected to his Lord, and ready to chase his goals in order to make this world a better place.

Do you suffer from low self-confidence and have been struggling to find an Islamic solution to this problem?

Then this e-book is for you!

Through this e-book, you will:

  1. Gain practical steps and tips for boosting your confidence
  2. Gain the necessary confidence to pursue your life goals
  3. Understand the role of Tawheed, Tawakul, and Sabr in boosting confidence
  4. Learn the difference between confidence and arrogance
  5. Overcome myths and misconceptions about confidence
  6. Understand the causes of low self-confidence
  7. Over 190 pages of confidence building content

What our readers are saying:

“Ismail Kamdar’s new book provides exactly the right balance between Islam and the psychological aspects behind confidence, Masha’Allah. The author of this book does a brilliant job in offering action points that are easy to implement, regardless of your knowledge of Islam and level of practicing.” (Aisha – IOU Blog)

““Best of Creation” by Abu Muawiyah Ismail Kamdar is such a refreshing read. It goes to the core of things by firstly establishing the importance of realising our reason for existence.” (Zarina – Muslim Women Exposed)

Don’t delay! Begin your journey towards Islamic confidence right now!

Best Of Creation

Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Books, Self Confidence, 0 comments

7 Things to expect from Best Of Creation

Best Of Creation: An Islamic Guide to Self-Confidence is the second Self Help book that I have written and is now available for purchase here. Here are seven things you can expect from the book:

1. Best Of Creation is my longest book yet!

My first book Having Fun The Halal Way is 106 pages, my second book Getting The Barakah is 119 pages. Best of Creation is 198 pages, making it the longest book I have written thus far. (yet still short enough to read and enjoy) My regular readers know that I love to keep things short and to the point. However, there is so much to discuss about this topic and this is the shortest I could make it while covering all necessary details. The result is 198 pages packed with interesting discussions and tips.

2. Understanding the difference between arrogance and confidence

This is actually one of the reasons that I wrote this book. There is a misconception in the Muslim community that a person can’t be both humble and confident. These misconceptions are refuted in details in the second chapter of the book drawing from Qur’an, Hadith and the example of the early Muslims. Examples are given of companions like Abdur Rahman Ibn Awf who was a confident businessman, yet a humble believer. Similar examples can be found throughout the book.

3. Learn to deal with setbacks, mistakes and fear

Each of these topics have their own chapter. Often the things that kill people’s confidence most often are life’s setbacks, personal mistakes and many types of fear. In each chapter, I tackle how to re-frame mistakes and setbacks in positive ways, and how to overcome all negative forms of fear like fear of the unknown, fear of change and fear of failure. Each topic is discussed in details with tips and action points to follow.

4. Understand common causes of low self-confidence

The third chapter of the book is dedicated to explaining the common causes of low Self-Confidence like bullies, cultural pressure, bad parenting and wrong beliefs. Each of these causes are explained in details with advice to those who may be victims to such causes on how to move forward. (My primary advice, of course, is to read the entire book)

5. Understand how Islamic beliefs regarding Tawheed and the Purpose of life relate to self-confidence

Self-confidence in Islam is rooted in our relationship with Allah. This makes understanding Tawheed, the Purpose of life and the creation of mankind necessary for understanding our potential to do amazing things in this world. Three chapters of this book are dedicated to explaining these concepts and provided a framework and foundation for a confident Islamic personality.

6. Understand the key differences between the Islamic and Secular approaches to confidence

One of the main reasons why I wrote this book was because most of the secular books on this topic promote beliefs and ideas which contradict the teachings of Islam. For example, they may teach that we are the masters of our own destiny, while Islam teaches that our destiny is in Allah’s Hands and if we work to please Him. He opens the doors to help us achieve our goals. These differences relate to core beliefs of Islam and therefore need elaboration. This book is an effort to highlight and explain these differences in details.

7. Dozens of beneficial Self-Confidence Tips

As with my book on Time Management, the final chapter of this book is a compilation of over two dozen tips for improving one’s self-confidence. This is besides all the key tips and concepts found in the preceding chapters which form the foundation of confidence in Islam. Making this a comprehensive guide to building confidence the Islamic way.

Best of Creation: An Islamic Guide to Self-Confidence is now available for purchase! Click here for details!

Best Of Creation

Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Books, Self Confidence, 0 comments
Two Causes of Low Self Confidence

Two Causes of Low Self Confidence

Causes of low self confidence

There are many causes of low self confidence. People are not born with low self-esteem, children by their nature are bright, brave, adventurous, curious and happy.

But somewhere down the line, things change and the same bright child becomes a wary frightened youth. Through a series of bad life experiences, many people lose their confidence and begin to live in small bubbles afraid of the world.

Some of the primary causes of low self-confidence are the following:

Bullies

Very closely linked to bad company are bullies. Bullies actually tend to have very low self-confidence and are themselves usually victims of poor parenting, bad company or other bullies. They get caught up in this cycle of abuse and it becomes the only language they know. Bullies cannot stand people who are unique, confident and happy and they make it a point to beat them into conformity. This continues the cycle of abuse and confidence killing.

The way to deal with and overcome this is to not give in to bullying. Bullying takes many forms but the most common are school bullies or neighbourhood bullies for youngsters. For older people, it can come in the form of family, co-workers, community or society. I have decided to tackle societal pressure as a separate cause because it requires its own lengthy discussion.

We need to oppose bullies and not give in to their pressure. Doing so breaks the cycle, which allows you to not just maintain confidence but increase it due to the courage needed to oppose them. It can also reverse the cycle as you can use this as an opportunity to try and get through to the bully and help him out of that cycle too.

Teachers

One of the reasons that I advocate home-schooling is because I am not a fan of the school system. One of the many reasons for this is due to the number of cases I have seen in which school teachers completely destroyed the self-confidence of children. Whether it is through verbal or physical abuse, the consequences of a bad teacher remain with a student for many years.

There are many cases in which a student was called stupid by a teacher at a young age and spent the rest of his life believing he was stupid, thus never excelling at everything. I recall during my teenage years in the Madrassa, there was a classmate of mine who used to be ridiculed by student and teacher alike. They gave him the nickname ‘Dumb John’ and would make him the butt of all their jokes.

Yet, this boy was very patient, kind and caring and would never lose his temper or harm anyone. He learned to drive at a very young age and started working at a young age too. Just because he was unable to grasp certain technical Islamic subjects, he was given a derogatory label. The label stuck and he eventually dropped out of studies and went back to work in his father’s business, another victim of poor teaching methodology.

If you are a teacher who is reading this, understand the important role you play in a child’s life. A good teacher can inspire a student to chase his dreams and change the world, while a bad teacher can crush the spirits of a student and destroy his future. Always be the inspirational teacher.

If you are a victim of such teaching, then understand that your teacher had no right to pass such judgment on you, and you do not need to let such remarks dictate your life. Take the statements of such teachers as a challenge and prove them wrong by succeeding in life.

This content was extracted from the chapter on causes of low self confidence from our e-book, Best Of Creation: An Islamic Guide to Self-Confidence, pp. 19-21. This book is available exclusively to Islamic Self Help in PDF format. Click the link for purchase details.

Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Self Confidence, 0 comments

Exclusive Preview: Best Of Creation

The following is an extract from my
Best Of Creation Ebook: An Islamic Guide to Self Confidence, available for purchase here.

Extract from Best Of Creation Ebook:

You Can Do It

Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. “Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, do not burden us with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people.”[1]

This is the promise of Allah and it should keep us strong during difficult times. Understand that if AllBest Of Creation Ebookah has sent a specific test into your life, it is because you have the capabilities to deal with it and pass it.

Allah would not have given you that specific test unless you were the right person to deal with it and overcome it. Remind yourself of this verse every time you are in a jam. There is no test in your life that you don’t have the ability to pass, and every human has been given the capabilities to be successful in both worlds.

Reflecting on this verse should give you confidence in your ability to overcome your current predicament. Allah chose you for it, because you have what it takes to deal with it, even if you haven’t discovered that yet. This belief should empower us to dig down deep and do our best in every situation.

The Win/Win Formula

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said:

Amazing is the affair of the believer, verily all of his affair is good and this is not for anybody except the believer. If something good befalls him he is grateful and that is good for him. If something harmful befalls him, he is patient and that is good for him[2]

This Hadith is very powerful in helping us embrace this world with all its flaws. As believers, we must look at everything that happens to us as something good. When things go our way, it is a gift from Allah and we should be grateful to Him for it, and this is good for us in both worlds.

When things don’t go our way, we must be patient, solution-focused and ready to learn some life lessons through the experience, and that too is good for us in both worlds.

This means whatever happens to us in life is good for us, so why fear living. Go out there and make every day count. Be the best you can be. Accomplish whatever you can and be ready to face any setbacks or trials along the way.

There is no reason to sit at home afraid. Doing so won’t hold back the tests but it will hold you back from accomplishing anything worthwhile.

Allah created this world to test us. We are tested with good and with difficulties too. Things are always changing and nothing in this world is constant or eternal. Embrace the nature of this world and you will live a happier life and be able to accomplish more. Do not fear trials, failure or death.

These are all natural parts of our experience in this world and unavoidable. Live each day as if it is your last, but make your plans for doing good deeds being optimistic that you will live a long time. Even if you pass away before accomplishing all your goals, Allah will accept your noble intentions and might even use others to accomplish your goals for you.

[1] Surah Al-Baqarah 2:286

[2] Saheeh Muslim 2999

Extract from Best Of Creation, pp. 56-58, available for purchase here.

Posted by Ismail Kamdar in Books, Self Confidence, 0 comments